This week was supposed to be a big surgery week for Sloane, or so we thought. Sloane had eye surgery scheduled for Monday to help straighten her right eye. Since she is missing her cranial nerve, her right eye floats upwards and inwards the majority of time. We’ve been working towards this surgery since she started wearing her eye patch at 6 months old. We knew from the beginning that this eye patching game was going to be a marathon not a sprint. We started patching for four hours a day then took measurements. Her eye needed more stability so we increased patching to eight hours a day, then measured again. We would visit the surgeon every 6 months until those measurements were stable enough for the surgery. It’s taken about three years to reach the point where she was ready for the eye surgery AND there isn’t a more needed surgery demanding priority. Her ophthalmologist was planning to go into her right eye and almost tie the muscles in knots (I’m sure it’s much much more complicated than that but that’s how they explained it) so once it’s tightened the intent is that the eye shouldn’t drift upwards or inwards which will help correct the overall alignment and improve vision. So finally after the long wait we were prepared. It’s supposed to be a super easy procedure, in and out, home a few hours later and I honestly didn’t have any concerns and I wasn’t anxious about it except for all the scheduling that needed to happen prior.
Pre-Op appointment
Once we finally confirmed a date which was about a month in advance we started planning the logistics of Sloane being home for the week due to increased risk of infection. Since recovery wasn’t bad we knew we would need to craft a schedule of babysitters to accommodate our work schedules. Knowing Sloane she would be asking to ride her bike or scooter and run to the park all week. So we decided help would be best so we could save our PTO for the holidays when family was in town. We planned EVERYTHING around this week. Work meetings, appointments, trips, and guess what happened?! We received a call saying it was canceled, AFTER pre-op appointments, after medical history check ins, after all that planning they called on Friday saying it was canceled. The anesthesiologist reviewed her medical history of tumors, a tracheotomy and probably most recently having a bad reaction after anesthesia in July. I think they went running for the hills knowing the surgery center was VERY different than a Children’s Hospital OR where all her procedures have been done previously. I guess I should have thought about that, but I also thought we were graduating to outpatient rather than hospital OR’s and that felt positive. So for the anesthesiologist to gravitate towards caution I am GRATEFUL it was canceled. In the same breath I was SO annoyed. I felt like for once I actually had everything together and in the midst of planning, planning, and re-planning EVERYTHING changed.
Pre-Opt Appointment
As I sat and listened to the nurse tell me it was canceled and we will need to figure out a new time in the next few months, I realized this is how most of life is. We typically don’t plan for the unexpected disappointment of life. We don’t plan bad things happening and we sure don’t have magic 8 balls telling us “all signs point to yes” when we ask if surgery is going to be canceled. Unexpected events happen all the time. It’s our attitude that moves us past them. All we can do is prepare the best with the information we have and take it ONE STEP at a time. We can and NOT let the unexpected take us down and out which I’m afraid many of us do in these types of situations. It would have been sooo easy to freak out, be angry, and let it ruin the rest of the day/weekend. Early on in our journey these unexpected outcomes would have destroyed me for days. I would overthink EVERYTHING and be angry about not being able to control every little thing. Why did the surgery get canceled, who knows? Was I annoyed YES, am I able to see the bigger picture, I’m trying. What if something terrible happened and they weren’t prepared? Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, maybe it was just a delay. What I do know is that we have to roll with the punches of life and the disappointments and not allow that to dictate how we move forward. So much of our time is spent on focusing on things that aren’t even in our control, but it takes away from the everyday moments. It’s so hard to change your mindset but it’s so worth it when you realize how fast you bounce back from something that would have taken you days to get over. As of today I have no idea when surgery is going to be, but I do know, we will go through the same preparations as the last time and be prepared for anything.